


Keith’s A Ticklish, Sweet Tooth-Having Fool

by Ididntsignupforthisshit (myhamartia)



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Halloween, Keith eats all the candy and Pidge rats him out, M/M, She/Her Pronouns for Pidge | Katie Holt, VLD Halloween Exchange, that's it that's the fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-11-01
Updated: 2017-11-01
Packaged: 2019-01-27 18:09:24
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,351
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12587640
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myhamartia/pseuds/Ididntsignupforthisshit
Summary: In which Keith is a fool and eats all of the candy his boyfriend Hunk intends to give to the small children





	Keith’s A Ticklish, Sweet Tooth-Having Fool

Here is the thing: before you judge or roll your eyes and say that you could have done better,  _ listen _ .

The bowl was just sitting there. It was innocently lying on the dining room table, just begging to be taken.

It was kinda like Rose from the Titanic, all stretched out and try’n’a be seductive and tempting and shit.

(Ha. That was a good reference. Keith guessed he had learned something that one time Hunk sat him down to watch The Titanic on one of their date nights.)

Anyway.

As you can see, it really wasn't Keith's fault, and therefore he could not be blamed.

He, personally, blamed the schmuck that left the candy lying out there all seductive and shit!

It was really only a matter of time before it got eaten.

So what if it was by Keith?

...All by himself.

...In under an hour...

He really didn't see the harm. It was candy left in the community area, and it was only a matter of time before someone ate it.

And no one’s name was on it, either!

Was Keith trying to logically find an explanation for his actions because he only realized he did a bad thing  _ after _ the bad thing was done?

Well... maybe.

It was a hard  _ maybe _ .

Keith's gray morals did not sign up for this trial in life, and quite frankly, he wants to sue.

Doesn't know who he would sue, but he's ready to call up a lawyer, by God.

God. He was deflecting. Stay focused, you fool!

He looked at the orange plastic bowl sitting all alone on the kitchen table, surrounded by empty, judgmental wrappers, and felt his body try to cave in on itself like, he was a deep sea diver without a suit. His insides went all crinkly and he felt like he just might throw up.

Ew.

Yeah. He messed up.

He began to debate differing ways on how to dispose of the evidence, but he didn't get very far. Keith got sidetracked very easily, he found.

Maybe it was the sugar kicking in.

Yeah. He'd blame the accursed Kit-Kats, and definitely not his fear of what would happen when someone came down and found him like this.

Like his thought was some kind of trigger, he heard footsteps on the stairs, quick and excited.

He jumped into action and sprang forward to grab the bowl. He jammed the large thing into one of the dish cabinets and called it done. (It wasn't done, not with the way he had to lean his shoulder up against the counter in order to stop it from tumbling right out onto the floor, but it was  _ fine _ .)

If it was Pidge or Lance, they just be grabbing their things before they went out to meet Pidge's brother Matt and his boyfriend Shiro. They were all going to meet up before going to a party being thrown by Pidge and Lance's girlfriend, Allura.

(Keith and Hunk would be along later, of course, but they were going to hand out candy to kids for an hour or two before they went. A little old fact Keith had forgotten when he sank his greedy, sinful hands into the candy bowl.)

Hunk would probably mill about, see Keith acting all suspiciously and then realize that his candy was gone.

_ Oh shit. _

He just had to hope that it wasn't Hunk, that's all.

He tried for casual as he leaned up against the cabinet, stuffing his hands in his pockets. He could do this. He could be  _ subtle _ .

He hoped.

With a grimace, he listened to the descending footfalls of one of his housemates.

Pidge came into the room a second later, whistling a tune Keith didn't recognize. Her hair was combed and gelled back in a comical way; it was to make sure that her Peridot themed headpiece stayed on her head. She looked him up and down before doing a double take.

She lifted an eyebrow at him, looking him up and down suspiciously.

"What'cha doin'?" she asked flatly, coming to stand in front of him.

"Nothing." The word came out quickly, but that wasn't anybody's business.

Pidge just narrowed her eyes at him.

"Uh huh. Right. Of course. You've just randomly taken up leaning against odd kitchen cabinets, huh?"

"Obviously."

"Obviously," she parroted. A beat passed before she stepped closer, staring him down. "What did you do?" she demanded.

Keith snorted, holding her stare very successfully. He wasn't going to crack under some sophomore chump's stare.

No matter... how creepy she started to look when she angled her head down. Or how threatening she looked when she propped her hands on her hips.

After a good half a minute of excruciating eye contact, Keith was honestly surprised and proud of himself that he held out.

She sighed, straightening up. "Tell me." She switched tactics, a whine stretching her voice, mouth in a pout. "I wanna know."

"No!" Come on. That was a no-brainer. "You're just gonna blab and get me in trouble."

Pidge looked him over, her mouth pressed into a fine line. "So you did do  _ something _ wrong," she pointed out. Her face said that she took it as a major point.

Keith wilted and groaned. "You're impossible," he said. He reached out with the toe of his sock and tried to kick her ankle. She was  _ just  _ out of range. A shame, really.

She snorted at him.

"I've got other ways of making you talk," she said, tone menacing.

"Right, Sid. Such as?"

"I could get Lance to come down here and pry you away from the cupboard."

Keith laughed. "Do it. Your twig of a boyfriend couldn't beat me."

She scowled and breathed a curse.

"Okay, fine," she grumped. She thought for a minute, no doubt searching her head for blackmail material. It was another few seconds before the light bulb blinked on and she grinned. "I'll tickle you," she said finally.

And it shouldn't have been a threat, right?

No one over the age of like, five is scared of that threat.

But not everyone is Keith Park, who is quite possibly one of the most ticklish motherfuckers on this side of Mars.

Keith tried to stay strong, tried not to flinch, but he was too weak. Pidge saw the weakness in his armor and focused all her forces onto it, aiming to break him down without mercy.

She grinned wolfishly and took a step forwards. Her hands were reminiscent of eagle's talons. "You'd better tell me," she threatened, flexing her fingers. "I'll do it, I swear to God."

Keith slipped into a plain mask of resigned silence. "You can try. I'll never tell."

She had barely touched him when he jolted away from the cabinet, elbows tucking in to defend himself. It was a slaughter. He was defenseless against the onslaught put before him.

The cabinet tumbled open, and with it, the empty candy bowl.

She looked between him and the bowl, for all of three seconds while she connected the pieces. Her face lit up with excitement and she was halfway across the kitchen before Keith registered her scream.

"HUNK! GUESS WHAT KEITH DID!"

He let out a sound that was oddly like a yelp as he jumped after her.

"Get back here!" he yelled. She narrowly dodged his grip and continued running. She passed through the dining room, and the living room before Keith caught her. He tackled her to the ground. She fought violently to free herself, but it was all for naught.

"HUNK!" she screamed brokenly. " _ HUNK _ !"

Keith heard footsteps upstairs, panicked and rushed.

"Pidge? What happened!?" Hunk looked over the banister. His Frankenstein's Monster costume was brilliant and frightening.

Keith's hands pressed into Pidge’s mouth in an attempt to silence her. She licked and bit at his palm, trying to get him to remove his hands. Her hands found his sides and he jolted back with a cry.

"KEITH ATE YOUR CANDY!"

And just like that, Keith knew that he was going to be buried in the backyard, right under the daisies.

**Author's Note:**

> hope you liked it!  
> thanks to my friend Penny for beta'ing this for me! <3
> 
> [come visit me on tumblr!](https://goddammitlance.tumblr.com)


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